Yes, I know that she lied to me. I let it pass and set up the machine.
The first loaf I tried should have come out very badly. I used too much flour (didn't know to weigh rather than measure) and set the machine to the wrong program - one for a "sweet bread" rather than the whole what I was making. In spite of that, the result was decent - a bit malformed, but decent tasting.
When I tried again a few days later, I thought the machine was broken because it did not start kneading immediately. Needing bread (no pun intended) and being too stubborn to go to the store, I used this "no knead" recipe: http://www.kingarthurflour.
I screwed that up because I didn't have a dough hook. After gumming up the regular beaters, I mixed that by hand and expected disaster, but it actually turned out quite nicely.
Investigating my apparently broken bread machine, I found that I had made a mistake: wheat recipes delay the kneading for some time - I simply hadn't been patient enough ("How unlike you!", my wife commented, snarkily but accurately. I therefore tried again, but in my excitement I screwed up the flour in the other direction: the recipe called for almost 20 ounces (4 and 2/3 cups) and I somehow used only a little more than 15 because I'm an idiot (there is no other reasonable reason).
Nevertheless, the bread once again turned out decently; a little more airy, but good tasting. Apparently it's not that easy to really screw up bread!
My wife doesn't like whole wheat - she thinks it's bitter. The "no knead" recipe mentions adding orange juice for that problem - I'll try that next time and also want to try mixing in some oat flour.